I do care what happens to him Val. I didn't mean to come off as cold. I just need to care about me and the boys first for a change. It has never been that way, I always put him before me and that is a hard habit to break. Not for me necessarily, but for him. He is not used to it and is really frustrated and acting out.
He has been lying like crazy and really playing the boys in the middle. The most recent scenario was that he claims he needs to be here every other weekend to maintain because he feels I am not (which I of course am). He said "if I wasn't there 2 weeks ago I wouldn't have found that switch which is a fire hazard" (I had already called an electrician for said switch and if it was really such a fire hazard, why wait two weeks to tell me with your kids here)
Then he said "and lawn maintenance is falling on S15 and he is complaining to me about it so I am giving him a much needed break." Well, I have been doing it and S15 does 2 hills only. But I asked S15 how he feels about it and he said "its no big deal, but dad keeps bringing it up to me for some reason" So I told him that if he ever has a problem with this or anything else in our home to please bring it directly to me only and we will deal with it together. And if he has something pertaining to dad, he should bring it to dad directly. It will be the quickest way to solve it. He agreed and said "mom I really wasn't talking to dad about this, he was"
So disengaging will prove to be difficult at times until he has a home of his own. This every other weekend is rough on everyone, yet he is digging in and refusing to change it. The kids aren't even here, they are working all weekend. Very frustrating.
So really I am just trying to hold my boundaries, I didn't mean that I don't care at all. He is he father of my children even if he is currently acting like one himself. I hope we all come out on the other side as better people and in one piece
