It sounds like you were feeling pretty great about the whole thing and then you let your IC knock you off your stable platform.
here's my .02 (post DB coach session)
1. do i just take this as an opportunity to do something positive together - is it positive?
YES!!!! you keep wanting him to play frisbee but he wants to have a party instead. So don't be angry and how the positive memories can be formed together, instead roll with it and have fun.
2. do i let him know my real feelings: "h, i actually don't want to do this because i don't really want to do something like this with you, while we are in this sitch"
Pre-DB coach I would have said do what makes you feel most comfortable detach etc. Post I say stop trying to control when and how you want things to work. If you say that you're saying you may want to do something nice with friends and family but I'm saying no because you've moved out and you have a GF.
3. just stay quiet and co-operative, and allow him to do what he thinks he wants to do, and let him figure out the difficulties on his own - in other words, not bring my feelings into the equation at all. I would say don't let yourself be taken advantage of..ie don't stay up for 48 hours straight cooking and faint from heat and exhaustion, but don't make this party into a metaphor of your relationship. IE all my feelings are put aside and you're calling the shots...either I take a stand or I'm walked on. It's a party. It's supposed to be fun. So have fun. Show him (and yourself) and that you can be the life the party. Nothing is more attractive than looking across the room and seeing someone enjoying themselves, being entertaining, and a good host.
