Just finished my coaching with Cheryl. I agree with Broken and Vera she is pretty great.
I loved the way I would state an obstacle and Cheryl would say "oh god, who cares" or "they all say that"
She's convinced he is still very much in love with me and wants to be with me and I just need to make it fun and easy. I gotta tell you my heart isn't in it completely because of all the changes I think needs to made but she said that will come later after all the bricks are laid.
One thing she to me that really suck was Assume the Good. She said it sounds like I'm really good at noticing all the bad or finding the downside of something and I just need to assume the good and point out how what he's doing is making me happy. IE don't get angry that he's sending me text the day after he did something with GF tell him how happy I am that he thought of me at this important moment in my life.
I was really surprised at how quickly she sussed out things that he had mentioned about how he feels. And I felt like she gave me a pretty clear idea on how to help with that.
First lesson in assuming the good. I am so happy I didn't fly off the handle about the utility room sitch. I casually mentioned to S hey did you pull see some stuff was moved in there? And he said oh yeah I was trying to find something, H said he needed an extra X and I said oh we have loads of those, but I couldn't find that box of wires and cables you put up the other day.
so in my head I'd decided H didn't respect my things or boundaries etc and really it was a teenager. talk about over-analyzing!
She said that I don't need to be LRT or dark. I need "more of the same" So don't overly pursue and definitely don't point out any of his actions, but do text him from time to time with things that are fun, funny, interesting, or common ground. But not hey how are you or thinking of you.
