You are so brave and I admire your introspection. If you son wants a party and you want to give your son a party, I would go ahead and do it. But, I would give him the kind of party you think you are capable of or want to-- even if that's different than what's been done in the past. Hey, it might even be better. I know exactly what you mean about being afraid to ask for what you want. I'm the same way. I also think that it's a form of low-grade abuse for our H's to contribute to our fear of speaking out with their attitudes. At some point, we have to draw a line in the sand and just say "no mas." I think that standing up to your H on this will be hard at first but will get easier each time. So I would find out what S really wants and then try to give him the core of that (even if you can't/don't give him the whole big shebang).
