LRT - Checking Progress

[LostIn407]

Update:
Doing good. Doing a better job with trying to eliminate any expectations and just concentrating on myself and my Ds.

On Monday, W mentioned to me found bedroom furniture on Craigslist for D3 and D4. My W has been in here apartment since May 6. She had an empty room and half a daybed. When my Ds were over at her apartment on her days, D13 would sleep on the floor and D3 and D4 on the couch or in the bed with W.

After paying for her apartment in May and half for June, I decided her OM could setup the daybed since he was over there more than me. Anything that needed to be done, he could do. Needless to say, nothing has gotten done.

I want my W to experience what it is going to be like financially without me, but I can't have my Ds suffer. I told her I would pay for half of the bedroom furniture and help her pick it up and set it up.

Yesterday morning when I dropped off D3/D4, I brought the mattress for the daybed and set it up for her. Now D13 has her own bed.

Yesterday after work, I helped W pickup the furniture and set it up for D3/D4.

On the drive to/from/etc, I told her that I was doing this for my Ds. She made a comment about how she has been paying her way since May on her own. WTF? I reminded her that I paid for everything in May and half for June. How the F can she rewrite this history? We didn't fight about this, we actually joked about it and she finally realized I did pay a lot for her.

On the way home after dropping off the truck, I asked her if she had everything she needed for the Ds (sheets, etc). She said no. I told her to stop at the store so I could buy my Ds what they needed. She said she didn't want me to spend my trip money. I told her I would rather spend money on my Ds. My W likes to spend money and picked out sheets, pillows and a lamp. No problem for me as I actually have more money since my W moved out.

She asked if I wanted to stay for a bit and have a glass of wine. I told her no because I had to go. She gave me a long hug.


I know I am not supposed to support her decision financially, but I did this for my Ds as their sleeping arrangement was not ideal. Is that my responsibility? Am I still doing too much for her and trying to justify it as it is for my Ds?


Couple of points of interest from yesterday:
- She commented on my physical changes again and touched my chest. She said "wow, that's nice".
- She asked me to research places to go on my trip. I told her I was tired of giving her ideas so she can take someone else. (She always has to pick the date ideas and pay with OM). She told me she was going to go to the same place regardless. Then she added "with a girlfriend". I responded with "Just like you said you were going to XXXX with a girlfriend and the other time you said you were going to XXXX with a girlfriend...." She said no, this time I am really going to go with a girlfriend.
- She seems to ask a lot of questions about my trip out of town
- She thanked me for all the help as I was leaving. I joked "It's because I am a hero. Get yourself a hero and you know the rest." She laughed "And lose that zero".


I have seen a huge change in my W since this began. When this first started, W seemed to be more concerned with going out and being a part-time mom. Now, she is being a great mom again and not going out much at all. Mainly stays in and watches movies on "her" days.

We also joke around a lot more. It used to be very serious and tension filled, all business. Still no texts/calls, just when we meet for handoffs. My fear? She just wants to be friends....

I will be dark until Monday night as there won't be any handoffs of the Ds until then. I won't reach out to her.