This past month has been such a transition in my life. I have started dating a very nice man. A person who I would be a fool to let slip away. He is everything a midlifer is not. He is rational, honest, caring, loving, and lives in reality. He has spent 5 years alone after his divorce to work on himself and we have a lot in common. So far so good, but we have not seen each other more than 6-7 times due to busy schedules. He is the first man I have met since my divorce that appears to be compatible with me.

However, I still love my ex (not a secret to most) and have always held up hope. My hope has been diminishing lately and I find myself having very painful moments of reflection and letting go. I have viewed this as healthy, but it certainly is not easy.

Well, ex has been texting me everyday for the last week. Last night, he came over to the house (has not done that since Jan. 2012) to drop off some forms that he easily could have mailed. I was not home so he said he put them in the mailbox. He also has cut his visitation with my youngest daughter in half stating his job has been very demanding. I feel something is different with him, but I do not know what. I try to refrain from guessing anymore. I only respond back if totally necessary. This has seemed to increase his contact with me.

Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11