Were there any childhood issues you can think of that you resolved in your mind during your MLC that helped bring you out of it? I have read that MLC is almost always related to unresolved childhood issues.
Yes, stillhoping.
That I was "good enough".
Also this one from the same thread
Originally Posted By: AmyC
Originally Posted By: missmyfriend
What good does it know why our spouses may be in MLC? I think understanding diffuses anger and compassion can set in. I am not saying acceptance of the actions but compassion and forgiveness.
I agree. But you can never tell a MLCer that you might have a handle on the underlying cause. Not until a time comes that they come to you and express an awareness of their own. Even then, I'd recommend treading lightly.
Originally Posted By: AmyC
Any indication that you are "analyzing" her is likely to be met with indignation and maybe even wrath. She will see you as condescending and unable to admit that you could be a part of the problem. She will think you are trying to blame everyone but yourself for the state of your marriage. Your words to the contrary won't matter. She will think you are grasping at straws and in denial. I wouldn't bring it up if I were you. Unless you want to get mauled. Of course, she might be a gentle MLCer. I was abdolutely vicious. The exact opposite of what my husband had known me to be previously. One other thing though - when I was at my absolute worst as far as how I treated him, I cried myself to sleep every night because I didn't understand what the hell was wrong with me. But every morning, I woke up pissed off and wanting to get away all over again.
