from the WAS to being walked away on

[25yearsmlc]

I'm new to the ebb. I have been trying to use the 180. But seem to loose focus when the wow wants to talk about a divorce. I go back to the old behaviors. I'm also trying to give her space. But I find myself not calling and talking to the kids. Sometime the want wee or bear from me a week. Is that the right way to do a 180._

No Not as a father. You can talk to and see your kids as often as possible. Just don't use them as a vehicle to pursue your wife.

keep it separate and be the best dad you can be or they'll feel YOU left your FAMILY

and btw, being a great dad is what they really need now, AND it so happens to

(impress and deeply move most mothers)...but do it b/c it's right for THEM and ought to bring you some joy.

Anything else positive is gravy.

What changes are YOU making b/c you want to be the man YOU can be?

Keep your focus on you and those goals AND your kids...

and keep reading the DR DB books. Do not point out your changes to your wife

but if she points them out, you can say "Been meaning to do that for awhile anyhow. Of course If I had it all to do again, there are lots of things I'd do differently"-

that statement does NOT escalate or blame or make you a doormat AND

it shows potential for CHANGE ON YOUR END

if your w does not believe marriage to you can be better/different than before

then she's gone for good.

So what are YOU DOING to SHOW change?