kevmic28 (11:19:55 AM): Listen to your heart... kevmic28 (11:20:39 AM): If your heart says its time to move on and give him up then do it, But if a little part of your heart says wait, then you have to follow your heart. optimistdb (11:21:24 AM): that little part of my heart is getting very sad and little... but there is still a small flicker of hope... kevmic28 (11:21:38 AM): Then wait.. kevmic28 (11:21:55 AM): as long as you have hope you cant move on.. kevmic28 (11:22:14 AM): But that cant stop you from covering your ass, with all the info you can get.. optimistdb (11:23:38 AM): you are right... "Then I look at my little girl's upturned nose and her big, trusting eyes when she looks at her Daddy (the guy who left her alone, the one who was not there when she was sick, the man who let her establish a friendship with OW and her family to totally cut off the connection when she let innocently escape that 'Dad is a baby because he sleeps with Mommy', the man for whom she cried herself to sleep many nights...) and I cannot do that to her. If it is only for her happiness, I owe her a try. A good honest try." optimistdb (12:20:58 PM): Hey, no low hits allowed!!! kevmic28 (12:21:30 PM): Your words..... No low blows from your own words.... kevmic28 (12:21:41 PM): That was your heart talking there..... optimistdb (12:22:05 PM): It is nearly the only reason that little thread of hope is still alive... kevmic28 (12:22:18 PM): Me too.... kevmic28 (12:22:36 PM): I dont want my son to grow up the way I did... My parents divorcedwhen I was5.. kevmic28 (12:23:09 PM): bouncing back and forth from Mom's house to Dads's every other weekend.. optimistdb (12:25:21 PM): I know. I do not want that for her either... kevmic28 (12:29:35 PM): Men are like hurt animals.. They crawl up in a quit dark place and lick their wounds.. Thats what he is doing by leaving. kevmic28 (12:30:16 PM): Put off the lawyer till the 16th.. kevmic28 (12:33:10 PM): When you do talk to him. Choose your words wisely... kevmic28 (12:33:25 PM): SIt down and write out your conversation... kevmic28 (12:33:48 PM): Write two conversations. One the way you wantit to be and the other the other.. kevmic28 (12:34:04 PM): This way you wont react thewrong way when you do talk... optimistdb (12:35:35 PM): OK optimistdb (12:36:05 PM): what do you think he'll do... allowing for the fact that you are getting only my version of facts... kevmic28 (12:37:01 PM): One thing I wanted to mention is that it took me almost three years to get over my mothers death and I shut my wife out while I was going through it. optimistdb (12:37:37 PM): and you are paying for it now... kevmic28 (12:37:37 PM): I think he will commit back to you but on his terms and not your terms.. kevmic28 (12:37:42 PM): Yes I am.. optimistdb (12:38:01 PM): you think i've been dictating terms to him? kevmic28 (12:38:16 PM): It was easier to shut down emotionally than it was to face thosepainful emotions.. kevmic28 (12:38:23 PM): Wel just the time limit.. optimistdb (12:39:38 PM): he told me he had compartmentalized his life during these three or four years of his mother's illness: one his mother and sis; one me and D; one, OW and office optimistdb (12:40:00 PM): He felt it was like three different familes, he says kevmic28 (12:40:22 PM): He was being pulled from everyone in every direction... optimistdb (12:40:39 PM): yes kevmic28 (12:40:43 PM): Of course there were. he couldntlet them all come together. kevmic28 (12:41:10 PM): The Ow was the escape from all his pain. optimistdb (12:42:07 PM): and she hung on to him... kevmic28 (12:42:26 PM): Yep. He became her security blanket.. optimistdb (12:43:25 PM): and she his... or he'd have kicked her out by now... kevmic28 (12:44:16 PM): No she is his mother figure... Welll his security blanket.. optimistdb (12:44:44 PM): His mother figure? kevmic28 (12:45:11 PM): of sorts yes... kevmic28 (12:45:31 PM): Older wiser person to give him advise... kevmic28 (12:45:40 PM): even if there arent wiser.. optimistdb (12:46:52 PM): Oh kevmic28 (12:47:37 PM): My W has the same.. This guy is a loser... conviced her that she was better off without me..
Just a reminder of our earlier talks. Keep writing.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
