Barn's burnt down--

[zig]

i'm definitely a recovering perfectionist controlaholic too!!

I began to realize how much disappointment, discontent, blame I invited into my life by trying to control everything.

oh yes. too bad we couldn't see it when we were doing it as control. i can barely remember the reasons and feelings i had back then which made me that way.

in my own soul searching i found that fear and insecurity were behind it. the need to control all these minor things was a substitute for not feeling in control of my life. the more i work through my deeper issues, the more easily i let go of what and how others are doing things around me. because the more i deal with and resolve the underlying fear and seeming lack of control, and become more confident in the ability to take care of myself fully and not depend on others for it, the less i need to cling to them in emotionally unhealthy ways (like controlling)

so i'm finding out now, that the ability to let go and detach is really linked strongly to how much i'm still trying to "control" external events, and that is linked to the inner work i still have to do on myself regarding my own fears and insecurities.

i love the haiku that you found , labug - it's beautiful, a little bittersweet, but beautiful

zig