The subject of mlc is very hard to wrap your brain around and that's why it is important that you learn how to detach, not react to his crazymaking behavior and turn the focus back on to you and your children. It's important to understand that this particular crisis is fueld by emotions, not sanity, per se.
I had a difficult time understanding mlc until I got slammed a few times by my xh along the early stages. Everything that we know to be right and true to repairing things doesn't work in the mlc world. Everything is opposite, because the crisis is all about being opposite or mirror image for the mlcer.
You aren't dealing with the man you married. You are dealing with the exact opposite, i.e., thus the mirror image. In his eyes, you are an authority figure, i.e., mom. He is acting out and rebelling against the mom figure. It will take him a while before he has tried every avenue to find the illusive happiness and hopefully he will hit bottom hard and then begin to seek assistance and rise to the top a better, more mature man. But, you need to understand, YOU CAN'T HELP HIM! This is a journey of self and he needs to repair his "self". You didn't break him, therefore you can't fix him.
Miracles happen every day and no one is telling you to give up hope. What we are trying to do is advise you on how to better communicate, react and understand w/your h and his crisis.
Why listen and trust us? Because we have been where you are and some are still on the same path w/you. I walked the path 13 years ago and while walking, I studied mlc, depression, personality disorders, as well as talked to full blown mlcers during that time. Each poster comes here and has something to offer others and as we post to each other, we continue to learn something new each and every day. I remain here as a poster, to help others walk the path and avoid the pitfalls that I encountered.
Please continue to post and ask questions. I realize that you get frustrated with the advice that we offer, but all I ask is that you keep an open mind to what we offer in the way of support and advice. I think we have a great group of posters here and we all strive to help one another, even when we dish out 2X4's when we know a poster is aware that they shouldn't have done what they did. What we have here is called "family".
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
