Stronger

[mishka422]

Marc's leg is healing well according to the ortho this morning. 4 more weeks in the immobilizer but he can now start to peg-leg it around some.

Things are going ok. I ran into a friend at the store the other day and she asked me how things were going with Gabe. I told her it was really good and he seems more and more like the man I married every day. She smiled a HUGE grin, her eyes lit up and then she asked the bombshell question, "Do you think you'll re-marry?" ARGH! That is a question I was not prepared for. I stood there for a minute looking at her and gave her my best, "Who knows." with a smile. This is only the second time someone asked that and the first time was almost 2 years ago. That was way too soon and things were FAR too shaky. There was nothing established between us then. This time it really got me thinking after we parted ways.

What do I want in the long run? Is there any point in marriage? What does that really do other than change your tax status and cause all kinds of legal mess when it ends again?

That sounds terribly pessimistic, I know, but it is reality. We have all seen what damage can be done with a single piece of paper. To me, those vows were sacred and no matter what our legal status is, I will forever think of Gabe as my husband. He doesn't know that but I find it incredibly awkward to think of him as anything else. I asked him not long ago, out of my morbid curiosity, what he calls me when he mentions me to someone. He just looked confused and said, "I don't.". That hurt.

So, I guess I'm just trying to hash out my thoughts here in the hopes of some clarity of what I really want. Actually asking for what I want is a whole other subject!