Help please! Ok, my W has always had a good relationship with my mother and she’s always lived just a couple minutes away. They love each other and they both value the relationship between the two of them. As we all probably know, many of us are in sitches that effects a lot of people in our lives. Anyway here’s my dilemma.
My W just sent my mother an email and W also cc’d me. Here’s a couple excerpts from the message from my W to my mother.
1. “I know that this is extremely hard on everyone. H seems to be putting on a happy face but I don’t exactly know what that means.”
2. “I want you to know, as I have said before, that I love you and you will always be my family no matter what happens! I am not sure if you would ever be up for meeting for a bite to eat or drinks, but I would love to see you! Our relationship may be different but it can be redefined. Let me know if you’d like to meet. We don’t have to talk about H and the difficult stuff”
So, what should I do? Even though my W says they don’t have to talk about the difficult stuff, I think it would be inevitable. I know my mother likes my W and I’ve spoke to my mother a lot about my sitch and she would always paint a good picture of me since I’ve given her my DB strategies ,she wouldn’t ever relay them to my W. Also, she’s my mother so I am not concerned on that end.
The main problem is that my mother will tell my W how hard it is on her. I don’t want my W to feel guilty from the comments my mother says. The two of them meeting just seems like a slippery slope and I feel it could cause more harm than good. I wonder if this would be crossing boundaries?
While they have free choice to see one another, I know my mother would avoid a meeting with my W at my suggestion. Am I missing something here? Do you think it could be a good thing for them to get together or do you think there’s a chance this could cause more harm. Just need to weigh this one out.
Love to all the fellow DB’ers out there! We are all probably going through the most difficult times in our lives. Your guidance and support is something I will never forget and always be thankful for.
Me(M):37 W:42 T: 14 M: 11 S: 1 D: 1 W wanted separation 5/5 Stopped living together 5/5
“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude”. Thomas Jefferson
