Wow - those are very helpful articles. I can honestly say I was unfamilar with the concept, but I am guilty of a lot of them.
Harrier - I don't mind the criticism at all. I know for a fact that I am not detached enough. I feel as if I am walking a tightrope in a certain regard - allow me to explain.
As time has progressed, I think I have gone back and for with being comfortable with my W and our sitch. It's like a two step forward on step back thing. Setbacks from time to time, but the net is postive.
As a result, I think more of my typical "friendly" behaviors start to emerge. I think you are right that I do have expectations on some of them, but there are others where I can say I truly don't....they are just things that I would do for nearly anyone. I DO see your point about looking like I am trying to show the "new" me - but the old me wrote letters during hard times and the old me probably would have bought her dinner that night if she was a total stress case. Still, I understand that given our current situation the context is wildly different at the moment - and, without knowing it, I might be looking for something back from her. But I can honestly say in those two examples I really expected nothing. In others I think that I have....but I really am learning not to.
So the question becomes if I AM that person, and it shows through to my W and others - should I try to inentionally scale back the things I do for? Even if I do them with no expectations?
Please understand I am not trying to dodge or shake off your observations - you are right. I am not detached enough, but I am getting better.
Probably should start a new thread soon.....this one is about to get locked.
