you set the boundary and she still "respected" it, yet you were at the very least miffed... so she knows she still has a button she can push...
She did and she didn't respect the boundary. I had asked her back in April to stop bringing any OM, period, to the house. We disagreed at that time about what was appropriate, and I ended the convo by indicating what my feeling were about it. So - she respected the original boundary, but she didn't respect how I felt about it.
You're right - she does have that button to push.
Note - I probably acted more hurried than anything. I had tried the calling her out on it back in April and clearly stating my feelings, and that didn't work. What next, coach?
Lesson learned here. ALWAYS set your boundaries further out than you think they need to be!
That had to hurt but do you wish you had this 10sec of your life back?
Quote:
I acted as upbeat and pleasant as I could, but I called the dog in, looked out at the street, gave my W a dirty look , and politely closed the door in my W's face while wishing her a good weekend.
That's not you at all or at least the you I know from this board. ((()))
King's Island, how fun!
labug, I think I was trying something different. However, I'm not sure it was the right formula. Really, I think I was just getting myself out of the situation as quick as possible so I could get on with enjoying my weekend with my S. I'll have to confess it was somewhat pre-meditated. However, I may try something different next time.
They will change into someone you did not know ever existed once the legal proceedings start
Rick, I'm definitely aware of that risk. I really hope this isn't the case. I'm determined for it not to be. I have grown so much through this entire process and losing that growth is not an option as far as I'm concerned. I'm a much different person than I was a year ago.
"labug, I think I was trying something different. However, I'm not sure it was the right formula. Really, I think I was just getting myself out of the situation as quick as possible so I could get on with enjoying my weekend with my S. I'll have to confess it was somewhat pre-meditated. However, I may try something different next time."
yeah, next time, invite him in to meet your new girlfriend!!
(that was so mean but so much fun to say!)
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
My W texted me last night. I enrolled my S in Camp Invention this week. She was asking if she was supposed to pick up my S today at camp. I ended up texting her back with directions and telling her he would need a lunch on Wednesday & Friday (the days she is taking him to camp). I also emailed her some information on a camp I've enrolled him in in July.
Sometimes I feel like I'm 75% or more of his parents.
GAL'ing activity of choice yesterday morning was a 3 mile run and yesterday evening it was softball.
Hey JB, No worries on the look. Wouldnt give it a second thought. You have asked her politely not to bring the om to your house. She obviously remembered your request because she parked on the street. Chances are next time she will think twice about bringing him, but if she doesnt, so what? You have many more important things to think about!
It was one year ago today that my stbxw dropped the bomb, so I am being a little surly today, (just kidding, sort of, lol)
Anyway, continue to lean forward, you are doing great!!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Note - I probably acted more hurried than anything. I had tried the calling her out on it back in April and clearly stating my feelings, and that didn't work. What next, coach?
regarding lessons around boundaries... maybe not...
you know the saying, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer"?
I had a couple thoughts just reading here:
+ first, my position is even closer to NC with my W. When I drop the kids off, I stay on the street by the car and say goodbye to the kids. And as soon as I can, my plan is to have D9 meet me at the car on the street when I go to pick her up.
So I'm thinking, is there a way to get that behaviour from S11. Have him say bye to his mom on the street and also meet her on the street?
+ second thought is, 180 this. What SS said was certainly entertaining, although I wouldn't seek a pawn to play that game. OTOH, why don't you go down to the car to talk to your W while OM is with her?
In the worst case scenario, you could always punch the guy in the head... But seriously, imagine how uncomfortable that might be, for him. He might just choose to tell your W to pick up and drop of S11 by herself. You can always joke to him about some of the eccentric stuff your W was known to do, or other personal info that you and your W shared...
But seriously, imagine how uncomfortable that might be, for him. He might just choose to tell your W to pick up and drop of S11 by herself. You can always joke to him about some of the eccentric stuff your W was known to do, or other personal info that you and your W shared...