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Re: We lost the spark, and I feel guilty. Part#3 MrBond #2255385 06/18/12 08:20 PM
Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 1,219 S scaredsilly Member
scaredsilly Member S Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 1,219	good for you sd! be strong. the waiting is very hard. you are doing so much better! M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16 Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing

Re: We lost the spark, and I feel guilty. Part#3 scaredsilly #2255551 06/19/12 12:42 PM
Joined: Jun 2012 Posts: 293 S sophiedaphne OP Member
OP sophiedaphne Member S Joined: Jun 2012 Posts: 293	Hi everyone! Thanks for your replies. I went out yesterday and got home really late. I think at around 11pm I got a text from husband that said "I'm not going to be home tonight, hope all is well." I promptly deleted it. When I got home, I saw that he had moved all of his clothing and the nightstand next to his bed out into the living room, so basically nothing he owns is in the bedroom anymore. It made me so sad and shocked.

Re: We lost the spark, and I feel guilty. Part#3 sophiedaphne #2255576 06/19/12 01:23 PM
Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 1,219 S scaredsilly Member
scaredsilly Member S Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 1,219	that was his intent. M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16 Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing

Re: We lost the spark, and I feel guilty. Part#3 scaredsilly #2255580 06/19/12 01:35 PM
Joined: Jun 2012 Posts: 293 S sophiedaphne OP Member
OP sophiedaphne Member S Joined: Jun 2012 Posts: 293	You are right, I'm sure it was... I just was so surprised. I am so nervous to see him again.

Re: We lost the spark, and I feel guilty. Part#3 sophiedaphne #2255591 06/19/12 02:14 PM
Joined: Jun 2012 Posts: 293 S sophiedaphne OP Member
OP sophiedaphne Member S Joined: Jun 2012 Posts: 293	I feel sad again this morning. I am having a hard time detaching. I am happy to be getting a life and stuff, but we have not spoken or seen each other or had any interactions in five days now. He'll never be able to see the person I am becoming. I know IT'S FOR ME but isn't the point that he can see how I am evolving? Obviously it has not been very long, but... I don't know.

Re: We lost the spark, and I feel guilty. Part#3 sophiedaphne #2255592 06/19/12 02:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2012 Posts: 934 V vera be fierce Member
vera be fierce Member V Joined: Apr 2012 Posts: 934	Originally Posted By: sophiedaphne I know IT'S FOR ME but isn't the point that he can see how I am evolving? You're still not convinced it's FOR YOU. The point is not that he can see how you are evolving. It's FOR YOU and only FOR YOU. Not FOR HIM.

Re: We lost the spark, and I feel guilty. Part#3 vera be fierce #2255593 06/19/12 02:17 PM
Joined: Jun 2012 Posts: 293 S sophiedaphne OP Member
OP sophiedaphne Member S Joined: Jun 2012 Posts: 293	But then how can he ever decide that, if we start being in a relationship again, things can be different?

Re: We lost the spark, and I feel guilty. Part#3 sophiedaphne #2255595 06/19/12 02:26 PM
Joined: Nov 2011 Posts: 9,676 Sonoran Desert L labug Member
labug Member L Joined: Nov 2011 Posts: 9,676 Sonoran Desert	The only thing you can control is you. He will do whatever he does, independent of you. You need to do the same. Create a life that doesn't include him. Don't keep looking over your shoulder, wondering if he's there. Read back over your threads, you've gotten some great advice from many different people. What other books have you read? Did you have your IC appt yet? Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13 Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss

Re: We lost the spark, and I feel guilty. Part#3 labug #2255596 06/19/12 02:31 PM
Joined: Jun 2012 Posts: 293 S sophiedaphne OP Member
OP sophiedaphne Member S Joined: Jun 2012 Posts: 293	Hi. Thanks for the advice. I read the five love languages. I haven't had a chance to go to the library, as it closes at 5 and I don't get home from work until later than 5. I may just buy it. My individual counseling session is tomorrow night (it got rescheduled a few times). I am looking forward to it.

Re: We lost the spark, and I feel guilty. Part#3 sophiedaphne #2255598 06/19/12 02:36 PM
Joined: Jun 2012 Posts: 293 S sophiedaphne OP Member
OP sophiedaphne Member S Joined: Jun 2012 Posts: 293	I also have not a clue as to what my husband's "love language" would be, although I think it's probably words of affirmation. Mine is definitely quality time.

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