Checking in and catching up on some threads and thought I would check in myself.

I had my IC yesterday and based on the information I shared with her, she said "you are still taking care of him, you need to stop"
I know a lot of you are nodding and agreeing smile and have tried to gently tell me (some not so gently lol)

Well I got it! I really heard her, there was a long conversation about it and I saw some areas that I didn't see as clearly before. I thought I was doing some things "for the kids" because that is how he presented them, but truly they were for him. I see it now.

So yesterday I got a letter in the mail saying that he had locked me out of yet another acct by changing the login info. I emailed him in order to keep everything documented. He of course denied it and tried to talk his way out of it. I said "well I seem to be getting a lot of these lately" and he replied "yup and with good reason, if you had just told me you were going to file we could have worked this out between us. I am just doing what your lawyer requested"

I replied "my lawyer did not request that you change passwords and lock me out of accts"

So last night S15 had his first JV basketball game for the high school (summer league to practice) and he showed up. I was already sitting with the moms and he came to sit near us, because S15 was still sitting there I assumed.

He was putting on his nice face as he always does in front of others, he only bullies me in private so that others would be shocked at my suggesting he was anything other than charming.

When the team got up to play, I suggested to my friend that we move up to the top to lean against the wall for our game. She agreed. I noticed that he was sitting alone throughout the game.

When it ended and I went to get S15, STBX was nowhere to be seen. We talked to a few people and still no STBX. So when we got in the car, S15 asked and I said "didn't he come to find you at the end" and he shook his head.

In the past I would have made excuses for him but my IC had touched on that in the morning, so I simply said "I don't know why he left early, you can call him and ask him if you want' and he simply shrugged.

I felt bad for S15, he seemed sad when we got home. He wouldn't talk about it but he was clearly not himself. I just sat and watched some tv with him for a bit.

Finally got a letter from his L yesterday stating that he was retained and asking my L to contact directly to avoid court. We do have our first court date on July 11 so I will be curious to see what happens between now and then but I am gathering my documents and getting ready as if the court date stands.

Still maintaining indifferent, and I think that is infuriating him. Not my intent at all, just self preservation. I am thankful for it.

-Autumn