Life is good. Nothing much new, continuing to work on me. My sons and I continue to build our R into something better, stronger. The success of that is due to my letting go and accepting them as the people they are. They are great people but I'm a recovering controlling-perfectionist, so they could always be just a bit better to my previous way of thinking.
I had an interesting conversation with my IC yesterday. I never really showed gratitude or appreciation to my kids for doing what was "expected" because that was hmmmm, minimum standards and you only got gratitude/appreciation if you went over and above.
Didn't want to coddle them.
What utter BS! We all want to be appreciated and seen as valuable.
Holding back appreciation in expectation of better output is controlling.
Getting rid of that need to control is a bit like killing ants. You swat and swat and still they come, seemingly out of nowhere. Then you get some spray and that seems to work for a while, but then 1 appears, then 2, then 3. D@mn!
You have to follow them to the source and take action there.
Same with my controlling tendencies, find the source and work on that.
Father's Day came and went without a ripple around here. I worked 14 hours that day, not that I had any other plans. The sons didn't see H on Father's Day. I felt a bit sad about that.
But that's between the 3 of them.
Just some rambling journalling.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
