They're Cohabitating, I'm Capitulating

[strongerthanever]

Brit,

I completly understand how you feel, I have felt the same way.

And it is so true about the texts! Every 5-7 days I get all excited because he will text me, and then I go over the possible replies I could send. Sometimes it gives me glimpses of hope "do we have to accept this", "I still find life very hard", "honestly I would love to have my family back"...all for him to return to his "normal" and go dark. All of that anticipation for nothing.

I also grew weary of thinking about what he could possibly be doing, re reading past texts to find hope, writing letters just to throw them away. Looking like a swollen eyed zombie from crying...

Yeah, I totaly get you. I get sick and tired of felling sick and tired. And then some complete stranger tells me how beautiful or amazing I am, or says stuff like "well he is a lucky man". Ha! And then I think, I don't need this [censored]!

Detaching saves us from our sanity. I had enough of his flip flopping and told him I was going to file the next day. And I meant every word of it. I have grown too much to accept this sitch the way that it is. And you know what? He beat me to the punch, filled and had me served the next day.

Am I grief stricken? Nope. If it's meant to end, let it end. I won't be mean or try to punish him, but I will cary myself with dignity.

I will tell you this though, even since then, I have found myself teary eyed and in prayer for our M. You are on the down side of the roller coaster. It's ok, it's normal and I'm pretty sure it's even healthy.

I would just caution you that if you are pissed, done, angry, sad...VENT HERE. Despite what you are feeling today, next week or even in the morning you find yourself feeling very different. We may be strangers, but we are here, and we care.

<3