Do they fly off the handle at the smallest question?
ummm... yeah...
And yes... they can use the bully or shame / blame technique so that YOU feel bad... keep your chin and your PMA up when ever you are around him or have to speak with him.
The less you allow him to push your buttons (by way of attacking you for benign communication), the more apt he could be to stop trying to push them... ie. They will no longer exist
Question, though... Why did you want to know (from him) whether he was at your place? What was the purpose of asking him?
