So much to say, So little room

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Re: So much to say, So little room dl443322 #2255442 06/18/12 11:11 PM
Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 3,622 A AJM Member
AJM Member A Joined: Nov 2008 Posts: 3,622	I get it Arty. I'm just trying to play the devil's advocate in some of this. I'm interacting to "see" the real you and where you head is at. I see all kinds of emotions in your writing. I see some things I think you could do better, such as not avoiding the conflict. Maybe its the guilt that's holding you back? I don't know. I'm asking the questions, but I see that you are behind a wall of your own building. I see your W seeing through your comments and not having much respect for you because of it. That's just what I see in the echo you show us. Could easily be more and likely there is. Emotions are something we have to work through, but they can be tough some times. I'm also guilty of looking at things through my own lens of experience. My experience was very different. Did my wife referee sometimes? You bet. So did I. Did I cook, clean, help out around the house? Absolutely. I participated the whole time in EVERYTHING. Did I do it the way she wanted? Not always and neither did she do things all the time the way I would like. Big deal; that's life. She still left. She still blamed me (after trying really hard to think of a reason after the fact). Was I perfect? Not by a long shot. Lots of things I can improve on and have. Does it matter? Absolutely. Did I do my best every step of the way? And then some.. The result is the same. She blames me (not for everything any longer I suspect, but don't really know.) What I'm getting at is that this is her trip regardless. I agree with Brookie: own your parts and let it wash over you. The sooner the better. Some things you'll change. Some things you may not. But I think we all go through the evaluation like it or not I looked back and I'm happy with me and my choices knowing I did the best I could with what I knew at the time. Would I change anything? Not really. There were a few things I did change for me because I didn't like them. But they were mostly minor adjustments except my reactions to her in the family dynamic. Those were much bigger changes that I made for me since I didn't like them. Then I moved ahead. I stopped looking back at mistakes (or learning opportunities) and looked at the bigger picture. She wasn't happy, but it wasn't about me per se. It was sudden and it was likely triggered by her stress and then the loss of her nephew and her new friends. Which came first? Doesn't matter. It was not about me when all was said and done. I suspect the same in your case. You are not perfect and you may have contributed to stress in her life. But you could have given her everything and it would have been something else that triggered it. If you're that bad a person that hurt her so much, why be friends again? Why not take the kids and run away? You can't be perfect enough? That's what I see in your posts. But back to you. Good work on working on yourself. On being a better dad, on changing what you saw as problems with yourself and liking you for it. Just more thoughts to see. Maybe I am also missing something with you? AJ "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."

Entire Thread
Subject	Posted By	Posted
So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	05/29/12 04:48 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	Jack_Three_Beans	05/29/12 09:22 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	BeingMe	05/29/12 09:37 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	05/30/12 03:26 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	05/30/12 04:14 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	BeingMe	05/30/12 06:17 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	05/30/12 07:16 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	05/30/12 07:52 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	canadianMrs.	05/30/12 08:54 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	05/30/12 09:35 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	05/31/12 03:35 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	05/31/12 07:31 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	05/31/12 09:00 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	05/31/12 10:22 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	05/31/12 10:55 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	Jack_Three_Beans	05/31/12 11:40 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/01/12 03:52 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/01/12 05:06 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/01/12 05:23 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/01/12 08:18 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/02/12 04:44 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/02/12 04:46 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/03/12 05:06 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/04/12 12:15 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/04/12 05:14 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/04/12 01:40 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/04/12 02:00 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	tested metal	06/04/12 02:24 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	seeking answers	06/04/12 08:17 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/05/12 08:56 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/05/12 09:14 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/06/12 04:55 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/10/12 01:53 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/10/12 05:28 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	kml	06/10/12 05:56 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/10/12 03:01 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/11/12 08:06 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/12/12 08:44 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/13/12 08:07 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/14/12 11:59 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/15/12 12:03 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/15/12 05:48 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/15/12 10:13 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	tested metal	06/15/12 01:15 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	seeking answers	06/15/12 02:40 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/15/12 03:10 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/15/12 03:34 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/16/12 04:59 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/16/12 01:06 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	Kimmerz	06/16/12 04:57 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/17/12 03:53 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	Queen_of_Swords	06/17/12 04:05 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/17/12 11:37 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/18/12 04:18 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/18/12 09:32 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	dl443322	06/18/12 09:55 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	dl443322	06/18/12 09:57 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/18/12 11:11 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/20/12 08:13 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/20/12 08:58 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	BeingMe	06/20/12 09:47 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/21/12 04:14 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/27/12 01:18 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/27/12 01:40 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	dl443322	06/27/12 02:43 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/27/12 02:51 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/27/12 04:45 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/27/12 05:14 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/27/12 05:36 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/28/12 01:31 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/30/12 03:53 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/30/12 02:33 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/02/12 02:34 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	07/02/12 06:23 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/03/12 03:28 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	07/03/12 06:59 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	labug	07/04/12 04:30 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/08/12 09:24 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	07/09/12 12:08 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	tested metal	07/09/12 02:49 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/09/12 08:45 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	tested metal	07/09/12 09:49 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	07/11/12 12:08 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	tested metal	07/11/12 01:38 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/11/12 03:21 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	07/11/12 05:10 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/11/12 08:23 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/13/12 08:55 PM

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