A Letter to My MLC'R

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PH,
My situation was similar to yours, and my heart goes out to you. Although X didn't leave when I was pregnant, he emotionally withdrew and abandoned me during that time, and left when D was only 14 months old (after several months of treating me horribly). He was also horrible to me when I was in labor.

You are going to need to let him be so you can concentrate on yourself and take care of yourself. Do you have adequate support? Gather your troops. Make sure you are surrounded with heartfelt and kind people. Find out about parent groups in the area so you can make new friends, particularly with other single moms if possible. I socialized only with women for a long time, and it was a good decision for me.

Also, if you can, make arrangements to have some sitters come after baby arrives so you can breathe and take care of yourself

If I were doing it again, I would not have allowed X to attend the birth as his presence was upsetting to me and did affect things medically.

Your sadness can affect your baby. You may need to leave him in the dust so you can concentrate on your health.

My situation, as you can see in my signature, has had a series of twists and turns. I am the one with the friends, the good new guy, the happy D, and the positive life now.

And OW? Long gone. You have to figure that anyone who is selfish enough to intrude on a guy when his W is pregnant is thoroughly selfish indeed. Proved to be exactly the kind of person I expected.

My impression is that few OPs last long, and if they do, they make life unhappy for the MLCer.

As far as the "friends..." you may be surprised. I kept all the friends. X, in his selfishness, couldn't be bothered to contact friends, and the few he did contact were disgusted w/OW and w/him.

Now he is alone, ill, and dealing with New Woman, who is dying.

I don't relish this--in fact it saddens me in some ways--but people make their choices in life.

(((hugs))) You can do this.