i sent him the email because i had already sent one for monday morning (about father's day) and it was on sunday that we talked. i didn't want him to think i had not listened to him and sent one anyway. i just let him know it was prior and that i wouldn't be sending them anymore to respect his feelings. also to let him know i will need to be kept informed about our business dealings.
i didn't mention pursuit but i can see how that would be implied.
ML when he's here, of course, makes me feel good. it is physically pleasurable but also helps me feel connected to him. there's lots of intimate kissing so i miss that.
i'm not sure about how he feels about it other than physical pleasure. he may feel like he's throwing me a bone (no pun intended) or that he's just getting a release and i'm a familiar lover.
he has told me he loves me, "very, very much".
i've read on here several times about making good memories when you can while still keeping your self-respect. i think i'll stay and try to do that, all the while, not letting things go into a R talk. he's very sensitive to any bad moods or anger coming from me and i have not shown him any.
he's misinterpreted some text communications as such (relying on previous experiences with me) however, i've been able to point out that text leaves emotions up to the receiver and by saying please and thank you, and not expanding, i was not upset. i don't like texting because i need my reading glasses to do it and i don't alway have them and i don't like moving my thumbs around for so long for expansive replies. i've told him i prefer phone calls but it's his choice.
i think if i leave, he'll feel i'm ticked off and just left to spite him. his LL is time spent together so maybe i can give him some of that and try to put something good into his love tank.
he likes it when i help him with the yard. he likes it when we work together, and so do i.
i know i'll have to let go of expectations. i think that has been my biggest problem, all along. he's nice, then i expect him to be closer than he is. it's me wanting to push things the way i want them to be. "The LBS is often looking for grand gestures, or major signs of change."
accuray, you are so right about this! i am very guilty of looking for faster progress and more hopefulness.
maybe i'll just take it one day at a time and enjoy myself and not think about tomorrow (or next month, or next year). i think it was brit that said that's helping her.
i'll let you know what happens and you all can hit me with 2x4's (hope not).
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
