My story, my progress, my hope

[Tinman]

Yes I realize the co-dependency is an issue. I have been going to IC a few times per month and she recommended a book. I was also recommended another book and I have that one on order. So yes I agree I am very co-dependent and have in the past used my W as a crutch in all most everything I do. Not sure how I am allowing my ex to give me direction on how to move forward with custody. If you meant my W then yes I did wait for her to tell me that she was comfortable moving forward with the custody battle. I have been thru this with my crazy ex for 7 years now and when I started dating my current W I had just let things go, I felt like there was nothing I could do. I spent 100k in attorney fees to try and make things right for my kids but I could not get anyone to listen. Now in a big way thanks to my W everyone is listening and I am very hopeful for the outcome but I also know that no matter how out of control my crazy ex is the court will still allow her some visitation even if it is supervised. So I am not sure that is going to be good enough for my W. That is why I need to try and plan for it and have some sort of boundaries set up to address it.

My Goals for myself –
- My weight – I have lost about 35lbs since first of the year. I have been doing at least 10 miles on the bike every day and joined a crossfit gym last week. So I am making progress on my path to drop another 50 lbs.
- Co-dependency – I need to learn how to be happy with me.
- Financial – The custody battle has pretty much ruined me financially which was also a major issue for my W. I am also in the process of changing directions in my career. I have been a construction manager for a long time and unless I want to move state to state I need to change careers. I am planning on switching over to Real Estate and home inspections. I now have a state license in both. My W is pretty concerned about getting these going and being financially viable. So I need to really dive in and make it happen because in 6 months the job I am on will be over and I will be left with little except a pile of attorney bills.
- Food / Shopping addiction – I have in past turned to food and shopping to make myself feel better. I went to my first EA meeting two weeks ago. So I am trying to work on this. I think a lot of what I am dealing with ties into the co-dependency and my low self-confidence.
- Social – I am better in small groups but just as comfortable staying home and hanging out. I need to get out and be more active and social. I have started contacting old friends and have started accepting invitations to lunch’s and get togethers.
- Custody of my kids – I am going forward with everything I know to do and hoping for the best. I was way too concerned about doing this even though I knew it was the right thing. Really not much I can do about this except hang on.
- Church – This has been a struggle for me. My W loved the church but was not what you might call super religious. I believe but it is so hard to let go and really truly believe. I have started going to church to listen to the messages and hoping it will sink in. I need to figure out how to open my heart and mind.
Ok so comments feedback on goals? I tried to be more aware of the buts!