Left town this weekend while W moved out. Upon return last night, found she took some pics, few tables and most of her clothes. The closet still has LOTS of shoes and probably her winter clothes or clothes that probably don't fit. First thought was that she had time to get her stuff out but didn't. Then wanted to read into why. Maybe not ready, maybe not sure, etc. Then told myself she might have been busy with the furniture situation and didn't have time. Then thought "stop it", there is no way to know.
She asked to come over to watch the B Ball game as her TV hasn't been delivered yet. Sure, come on. Overall, fairly normal feeling night.
OK, first night to sleep alone. Very yucky. Got up this morning to get ready for work in a half empty bathroom and very quiet. However, I know each day will be better.
************* On drive to work this morning, she calls. Last night, I had asked for some paperwork regarding my son and she thought it was at her office. Today's phone call was to tell me the papers had been in the back of her car the whole time. My mind is saying, why is she calling. There was no purpose for this call.
I asked how her night went. Before she could answer, I told her I shouldn't have asked that. I told her these were weird times. I still was acting like she was my best friend and I cared about how she was. I also told her I knew she might answer that she slept like a baby which would make me feel bad.
I told her my night was terrible. In the past, we were separated for five months (8 yrs ago). Since then, I would tell her I knew what it was like to sleep without her and I was so glad she was back in my life. I would bring up the topic of her sleeping by my side as a positive statement to her. Meaning, I am glad she was back in my life.
She told me her night was terrible. The lady who lives above her had an alarm that started going off around 3am and she would snooze it a lot. She was in a new environment, a new bed, etc.
The last thing I told her was that I knew we had to go through this. However, I told her that I needed feed back about us. It may be in a week, a month, or several months, but I needed to know where we stood. I was not going to be in a position to wait around like my brother. (My brother was separated for a year before they finally finalized their divorce.) I've been through a separation before. What I was trying to say is that I'm here and want to work on it, but, I'm not going to wait forever.
I know I'm not supposed to do that, but, sometimes you can't help it. I know today is day one of change which will become normal at some point.
I feel like I'm slowly getting better but it is still tough.
Please provide any helpful advice....I notice I come to this sight several times a day looking for answers. Thanks for everyone's help.
I wish no one had to go through this. I know where you are at and it hurts. It's s tinging in your soul, that you really cannot describe to anyone outside of your situation.
Bottom line is why give someone lots of space in your head rent free who is not thinking about you. You have to find a way to focus on what you need to be doing.
I found going to the gym and taking care of health and getting into hobbies helps.
