Thank you for your response! I am gravitating more over here and will probably only return to my original newcomer thread to answer other replies. Soo many posts to look through!

Quote:
I am in confusion about how to deal with MLC stuff, because of the added complication of baby coming very soon!

I currently can't GAL as such, although my pre-occupation is with the kids and baby and therefore I don't even have time to think about WAH!

I maintain friendly acquaintence stance, but he still has certain expecations of me, which I am trying to break. Do you respond to a MLC every whim, or do you say "actually, remember you have chosen to not be with me, so therefore you need to not-be-with- me".

He expects me to still attend to his needs, when I need to attend to mine and those of the children.


The advice unless I am misunderstanding it is to let them be. Just get on with your own life etc, don't pick arguments and other things which I agree with.

But my confusion is how far you let them take the "mickey". For example as cadet said, he is having his cake and eating it! Or so he thinks! wink I am setting subtle boundaries without arguments, e.g. "you bring your washing home, you do it" has been established by putting his laundry in his own wash basket and leaving it for him to do. I talk from my Adult ego state when I need to verbally address something with him. I don't discuss our marriage, his relationship or anything other than the kids, the baby and general small talk.

I guess I wonder if it's the MLC mentality at work, or whether it's just that splitting up is something new to us both and we've never dealt with it before and are trying to adjust.