One step closer to the edge and I'm about to break

[25yearsmlc]

really starting to wonder if I should have said no to W request to do laundry tomorrow night at the house... maybe if she has to find somewhere else to go, it will show her that this is the life she chose when she moved out... am I just being used here...? I'm stuck at a crossroads... not sure what to do... thoughts..?

I didn't see it as you being "used" (and she asked)

let alone just 10 days after she moved out. It's not like a year has passed...

and if I've got this right, not to rub it in,

but you started out living with her and cheating on her, she left but when you learned she was pregnant you two then got married

but you cheated on her again, after marryiing AND created a child with OW? So your sons have a half sibling, whom you barely see? Does your w ever comment on that?

So to HER, perhaps, You guys stayed together b/c of a baby (or two), had little to no sex for a LONG time, and then she moved out but then you another baby...

so yeah, that's a pretty darn rocky way to start a family. And I assume that the trust she never felt for you fully, ate away at her.

This one will take time.

But hey, as you've heard, It's a marathon, not a sprint.

If I were you, I'd be the best dad you can be. And the best friend to her.

That might be all you get, and maybe NC is what most of us advise.
(Check w/the DB coach)

To me, no matter how she says "its HER and NOT YOU" I don't believe that.

I think she's embarassed to say she could not let it go. She never truly forgave you. OR so I fear.

But at least identifying that, if it's the obstacle, is a start.

See what your DB coach says.

And hang in there. I know people can change.

IF she comes to believe you're the man she always wanted you to become

she'll be bummed out that some OW benefits from HER sacrifices...and she might well 2nd guess her choice.

How can she not?