from the WAS to being walked away on

[25yearsmlc]

I'm noticing an odd pattern in h. As a reason to make contact h will go at length to contact me about an upcoming event. he will even call and text the day of but then...nothing. What gives? I don't even mention that he doesn't follow through, I'm just intrigued by it.

Ex: him wanting to spend time today with the girls (fathers day). We were texting about what time, where, ect. I make contact as promised, when promised, but no response. I missed his phone call so I return it only to be sent to his voice mail. ???

I need to go firm on this guy, no more bending any rules to accommodate his wants. not sure why but he seems angry and big on score keeping (though I haven't given him anything to take score of). Anyone have some insight about what's going on here?

didn't you two just have a great experience the other day? This is him withdrawing and going cold. He was very hurt

and does not want to be hurt again. This is why, as Crimson says, we call it a roller coaster. You have both been hurt and done some hurting.

What changes are YOU making? How long have you been making them? Hasn't this been pretty fast for both of you?

so of course his biggest fear is going back and being hurt again AND OR not reconciling and being alone.

Consistent change + sufficient time = change you both can believe in.

Belt yourself in and work on YOU and only you. How are the books coming? Do you buy into the DB beliefs? They are solution based-

means, NOT about rehashing the past or keeping score, or studying WHY your childhood was what it was, etc....but doing what helps the m NOW, and doing less or none of what hurts it. That's what DB 101 is...

The deal where you both were giving the gilrs lousy clothes b/c you FEARED the other would withhold was very telling...major score keeping in anticipation of the other "winning"...("winning"... what?? See how petty it all seems now?)

I'm so glad you stopped that cycle. Model for your h the NEW R you have now...

Be someone who will have no regrets later on.

If you become your best self, =

a woman only a fool would leave, then you can know you did your best

hold your head high, & leave the results up to God.