So much of that resonated as per my W. I mean everything for the first two years of Amy's time frame for her MLC.
IF my W is MLC, like what appears Amy was, she'd be a vanisher if it wasn't for the kids. I'd be at that two year mark where Amy indicates her H finally gave up (I've appeared to, in my mind). And she indicated that she'd felt that was a good thing at first, and began a new cycle of replay (I've found out that my W is planning some good ol' partying this summer).
How she had a new circle of friends; yup to my W. Yes, my W maintains (some) contact with old friends, while her current group of friends has mainly consisted of people she never knew or would not have partied (spent time) with (some much younger).
Eventually Amy indicated she'd stopped talking to "everyone". My W now appears to have only a few people she really associates with on a regular basis. For the most part, I think it's just companionship so she isn't ever "alone".
Amy indicates she'd convinced "everyone" close to her (family, etc) that she was right to want to be S / D from her H. Certainly appears to be the case with my W.
And then... she began to re-connect with old friends... I just found out that my W has just reconnected with an old, good friend from her past. Someone I am aware that she has not spent much time with over the past three or so years (confirmed by D14; who would know). She was visiting with that friend, today.
None of this matters, really. I just find it has been a really interesting read. Based on Amy's description of her MLC, the primary portion of her distancing from her "old life" / M extended over a period of at least 3.5 years. Of that, at least 1.5 consisted of her truly believing that her H had given up and let go / moved on.
Even without the OM, whom she suggests she'd got rid of prior to her H giving up, she still needed another 1.5+ years to get everything else out of her system (burning herself out / emotionally getting to rock bottom) before she started looking inwards.
I'd submit that an "important" transition might take a couple years for sure. Possibly a little more.
I think Amy's story really resonates with the understanding that the crises extends much beyond a transition time frame. Most likely the significant reason for that is due to the reality that it is a crises, and many people initially fight and resist the crises, either through denial or brute will.
I know there are members here who might either be MLC deniers, or perhaps doubt the extent or depth of what a person who is experiencing this "type" of life crises is really dealing with.
I think that maybe a person can look at Amy's words and still have suspicion that those words are just excuses and reasons for poor behaviour.
I am convinced there is something much deeper going on and I also suspect that many who go through MLC are no where near as open or honest about their MLC experience... In denial DURING the MLC... and in denial OF the MLC, POST MLC...
