IB sweetie, it's a process. It takes the time it takes. I'm still working through it almost 3 years later. I'm getting there. I so know your feelings. I couldn't have written your post myself.
You know there was a situation this past week where I have had more exchanges with H than I've probably had the entire time he's been gone. When monster came out to play I stood up to him. Guess what? He backed down, and I got some respect and maybe even a little compassion from him. We also worked together to solve the problem which hasn't happened since he's been gone.
I'll always be respectful as he is the father of our children, but I will call him on his behavior if it warrants.
Snodderly is so right, the reasons will become apparent with time.
Hang in there and take excellent care of yourself. Better days are coming.
