so defeated and scared silly

[scaredsilly]

i applied to volunteer at the local hospital. i went to two evening concerts last week and attended my weekly yoga class.

i'm going to my son's house this afternoon to see him and the grandkids. i usually go over there two or three times a week.

i'm not really sitting around but those are only a couple of hours in each day. i'm home by myself at other times. that's the problem. there's just nothing going on out here.

i don't want to get a job because i like my retirement flexibility. i have a dog so if i go into town, i have to get back to let her out and i couldn't stay in town all day anyway.

i know this all sounds like excuses but i'm very alone in this town. i'm an introvert so i'm not the type to just go up to strangers and become fast friends.

i've thought about going to visit one of my high school best friends. she lives about 700 miles from here. i could spend a week with her.

but when that's over, i'd really like to go see my sister and spend a month or so up there. i know it will make H mad.

any suggestions on how to get it across that it's not anything other than loneliness that prompts the visit?