I'm just as confused. OK, well, there was my bomb drop in July 2010. Then I came out of my funk and he dropped a bomb in January 2011. For him, that was officially the end of our relationship he has said up until recently. After January 2011, he went real dark for 6 or 7 months, then he ended up in hospital with anxiety and panic. After that, I got us back together - no questions asked - living and just being together from July 2011. He then dropped another "I'm done bomb" on 31 December 2011. That just got me. Things were getting better - or so I thought - and I put in so much effort. I kept my mouth shut most of the time, let him get on with his things, got on with my things and just spent time together. In December, I lost my composure (and I do mean that, as I had learned to stopped yelling during that time) on 4 occasions - and that led him to drop another bomb on 31 December (the first was when he went to a club, we had a disagreement over the printer, over a magazine and finally over his mother).
He's been saying it's been over ever since July 2010 however, he explains that he just went along with our living together again but that his heart wasn't in it. I do agree with that because and it was VERY difficult being with someone like that - which contributed to me losing my patience in December.
While he has continuously reminded me (and everyone else) that we haven't been together for 2 years, I always tried to stick to my own timeline of his last bomb in December 2011. It was one of those disagreements we have that's been adding to the Disagreement Pool. So, recently (this month), I started agreeing with him in order to eliminate that disagreement - giving him one less thing to have to resist.
So, I'm now saying 2 years to him. As a result, he is now saying it's only been 6 months (since December 2011).
So yeah, I'm glad I wrote about this because it will help me keep track!!
I can't tell if it's detachment or self-protection to be honest.
I did get a chance to ask him at the very end last night what does he envision as being a good relationship. After some thought, he said, "Love. Just love."
I woke up this morning and felt a desire to invite him over for a vegetarian lunch. There are kids playing outside, and the weather is good (so far), and I'll make a nice time of it.
