Spent the day yesterday driving my daughter to an event....long drive there and back. Spent most of the time thinking of how things will be going forward. Not very positive honestly. My wife had indicated she'd like to talk when I was otw home, so I called in the afternoon. Not sure what the intent was on her part, because she just seemed to get upset and tell me why she was mad about the day before. Even when challenged on her interpreting things different than they were, she didn't seem to want to stop.
Eventually, we both admitted we were very frustrated and didn't want to stay in it the way it was. We loosely discussed a scenario where one of us would stay with the kids one week, then switch.
At first, I thought, this is where I'm at. She needs distance to figure out where she wants to go, and I would like to know what to expect, and not continually feel hurt. She seemed taken aback a little, I guess surprised that I was at this point, but not enough to be productive in the discussion. We both were upset, but agreed to finish hashing it out when I got home.
Otw home, I stopped for our retrovaille follow-up and participated alone. I was uncomfortable and even considered leaving a couple of times, but I stuck it out. By the 2nd half, my state of mind had completely changed. I saw serious errors I'd been making in the past week. I think there's a bit of conflict between the DB principles and retrovaille...I've been struggling to figure out what I should be doing. Thur I attempted to detach, but now I think I should have discussed my feelings about it. I'm going to put DB in the backseat for a time and focus on what we're doing in the followup sessions.
We're going to talk this AM and I'm going to try to get her commitment to stick to retrovaille til it's over and not make any decisions on the relationship until then.
