It's an Opportunity for ME!

[scaredsilly]

absolutely. i think a lot of us got here because we were willing to "give and not get".

i wanted my H to have everything he wanted so i bought into it all, putting my needs aside. that really doesn't work because it encourages them to continue being selfish and breeds bitterness in us.

i love reading your posts, brit.

"...when I feel nervous or anxious it isn't a cue to push forward but to sit and be still, any decision that causes anxiety can be made better by waiting a day or two, that I can look at my H and pragmatically see character flaws that hindered the relationship, I've learned that I need to find myself, be myself, and in any relationship not lose myself."

this is great. it's what i need to remember, too. at first, i would have taken him back without any changes to our relationship. now, there's a pretty significant list of things that would have to happen and frankly, i doubt he's capable.