I know we tend to pile on your W, but either conciously or subconciously your W knows she can guilt trip you into compliance. You know this too. You could just stealth serve her. I think in many ways you still want her approval. Trust me I know and im there right now.
I'd cut her "some" slack if she was doing "anything" to find happiness with you, but she isn't. Love doesn't drive her actions but fear of actually having to take care of herself.
