H just left. It was a really nice dinner - he brought all the food over and starting cooking before I arrived. I was late coming back as I had to return keys which delayed me. Still, it was great to have such a busy day.
I wasn't quite expecting to feel close to nothing when I saw my H though. I was of course pleasant and polite - but I do miss feeling excited and myself when in his company. I usually felt excited to see him no matter what. I didn't have that today.
Towards the end of the evening, I told him I felt a bit sad about how the bond felt as though it was lessening. I was getting on with my life and doing so much on my own that I'm getting used to it. I didn't have to say anything, but I just wasn't up for much tonight.
He's still angry and resentful he says. He continues to be confused. I said to him 2 years is a long time to feel this way. He then said it hasn't been 2 years for him, and has only been 6 months!!! He keeps telling everyone - including me - that we ended our relationship 2 years ago, so how can it just be now 6 months? The goalposts change without me knowing.
I brought up Greece and asked whether he wanted to go, even though he felt it was a good idea because it would give us a chance to talk and be together. Still, he said he was in two minds - and so I said fine. I will book my ticket and "...then you can decide as you like."
We did ML, but it wasn't as it could have been. I guess I just wasn't expecting to feel close to nothing upon seeing him after a bit too much time has passed.
