Crimson....just checkin' in.

[bustorama]

Yeah, Crimson, that is script about grieving her vision of how things would be, about things being hard, about wanting to go home because it is hard being a single mom.

It's her beginning to experience reality.

And 25 is spot on to avoid the I understand, especially since she has said you don't understand/get her. I remember having a conversation with my W where I said omg I totally understand how you feel. That's hard for me too. Then she said you don't understand me at all. And I responded with you are so right, I couldn't possibly get how you feel. Only you really know how you feel.

While she feels you don't get/understand her, you can also say things like "omg, that sounds like it has been really hard, W."(basically commiserating if not understanding) Try not to say that you have been experiencing the same stuff or that it is hard for you too or that you are going through the same. She doesn't want to hear about how you are feeling when she is WAS. She is focused on her own unhappiness and you claiming to get her (when, in her mind, you DON'T) or that you are going through the same stuff (when, in her mind, you ARE NOT), is not validating her feelings.

If she says she is exhausted, "W, that sounds so exhausting"
If she says she is having a hard time with the single mom day after day thing, "Yeah, W, that sounds really hard, day after day without a break"

When you say it is hard on you too, it can be seen as you making it about you (or about us) instead of staying focused on her and her feelings.

And, yes, it is script/totally normal for her to be at the depths of despair one moment and totally fine a few hours (or minutes later). That is WASville.