My entire day and now night has been filled with way too much of H.
S started telling me about H and GF's new place and I wanted to seem like I was cool so I chatted away and listened. It still upset me.
I find myself at times having fantasies of emailing GF and telling her we ML after they met, the things he's said about her, but what will that accomplish. I sit here hating that he's moved on and yet not really wanting to be with him. He is so distant and foreign to me (I know nothing about his life anymore) and yet when I see him everything about him is so familiar and personal. Sometimes even seeing or hearing my last name is painful. I feel like I'm living a lie and hate that at some point I'll change my name.
I hate that today he invaded so much of my life. I am working so hard to be free of this and then this happens.
I will say this I'm not crying. A month ago when he told me they were moving I together I was a wreck. Today I'm not a mess....I'm upset that he still annoys me. I guess it's time that brings total detachment. I know that I've travelled a good hard road to get here but part of me is jealous because I don't want to be alone and I can't afford to do all the things he's now doing.
