One more thing..any thoughts about when h throws his fun new life in my face? to justify his choices to himself/you AND b/c he keeps a scorecard, big time. That's why HE filed when you warned him that you were going to file. Instead of making an effort to stop you, he "won" by "beating" you to it...
FWIW, scorecards always always hurt m's and friendships. Never a good idea.
I never react just thought I'd ask if anyone had insight add to of why and the best way to react.
Not reacting is pretty great....Better yet, perhaps, is pretending to be happy for him b/c you have to say "something"..
- IF you can pull it off.
It can take Academy Award level skill to do so, but then, many of us deserve acting awards b/c God knows we were acting!-
These are some ideas but I would invite others comments/suggestions too
b/c though I like these, I am not positive it's totally DBing. I think it is.
How about trying-
"Sounds fun/cool for you!" "Well I bet that was a good show"...and happily move on to your next mystery adventure in GAL.
IF he throws OW in your face in some specific way, like it's about HER VS YOU, e.g., "ME AND OW are..." Or "OW is so great/better than you b/c..."
why not ask him if he "thinks that's really appropriate to tell me" and then shrug it off as if he's probably an idiot, but NOT as if you are very upset.
You are Just setting a boundary that NORMAL people who are not petty or competitive, live by.
Another option is to reply w/ "well I'm glad you are finally happy" and try hard as hell to look like you mean it...
And always, always have something fun to do, interesting people to meet or new places to go. Geez, make it your mantra and live by it.
Also, I have 2 famliy members who divorced and remarried their exes a few YEARS later. I emphasize "years" b/c it was not a fast process and I don't think any of them planned on reconciling. But they had kids together so there was contact. They all GAL and each one improved as an individual...
so hey, It happens.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
