It's so hard it's nearly impossible! I'm just trying to give an idea how tough it was, to look at and communicate with someone who usedd to be emotionally supportive - who is now somewhere else. She's gone, for now, and maybe for ever.
If I was to backtrack through my situatoin, I would have minimized commmunication and contact while the affair was going on. Hell tell her, if she' sgoing to carry on then go live with the other guy. It's not for you to move out of you guys place because she's cheating. I personally, also after some amount of time if I could go back would have gotten a girlfriend. Find a girlfriend whose not trying to take from you, that you nejoy spending time with. you can tie your feelings of emotional dependancy, pleasure, etc onto her. I guess this is YOUR personal belief and advice but it's NOT DB advice and not the place for giving out your random
but consistenly punitive/anger based, "teach spouse a lesson" perspective.
I don't think you get "DBing" at all. I don't think you know DBing.
You clearly don't follow it.
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My advice wasn't teach a spouse a lesson. It was about taking care of YOURSELF. You can no longer depend on that spouse for anything.
I'm not angry either. It does anger me to see someone embellishing on cheating on their s[pouse, not realizing they are making them ill, hurting them so badly like they are so special to be able to do it.
I did the db tenants during my situation and I was honest about what would have worked for me, it may not have brought the spouse back but it would have created a spomewhat healthier environment for me at the time.
Also having cheated on somene in a past situation, I know how they look at so I know what would may have gotten a response out of me when I was the cheater. Wish you alll the best as usual.
