from the WAS to being walked away on

[strongerthanever]

Kafe,

I had never though of that...what IF he had been having a great day?

Odd how despite any barriers he puts up, he never hours more than a few days without contacting me for some reason. That is one positive. When he does make contact, I am never rude. Feeling matching is an old habit I have finally let go of.

It doesn't matter how nasty he gets, I will not base my reactions or quality of life on them. I don't even bring them up. I never even brought up the divorce papers I was served, and I don't ever see a need to.

I am committing to DB, but not with the intent of saving my marriage. I like the person I am becoming and DB techniques are a great life skill. I see every interaction with h as an opportunity to sharpen those skills.

One thing I am aware of is that while I know how to behave right now, I am unprepared as of how to act should he open up again. Thanking him for his openness is a start...

He said he tried to come back to me, which I guess in his eyes is true. Mind you it was after I walked in on him and ow. He wanted back out of fear, not add a man who had done some soul searching that left him with a new commitment to his m. As much as I love him I can not be in a relationship with the man that he is right now. The man I will come back to is:

1. Rrspectful of women. Does not take them for granted or use them add a distraction from reality of the sitch
2. Not having any inappropriate contact with ow, who happens to be his boss (till Nov, when he gets out of the army)
3.willing to commit to the m and can openly honestly communicate

What am I doing to help foster these changes?
1.not allowing myself to be one of the women he disrespects
2.being patient
3.non reactive to his behaviors


I think that stuff might get dissected and thrown everywhere, but in that case I need it. One thing I know I need is advice on what to do should he open up again. I feel it's inevitable and don't want to do anything destructive.