Thanks for weighing in guys. It feels kinda like she is entering a new phase all of a sudden. Or at least I am being made aware of this new phase - maybe she has been here for a bit. I wish I could help and my heart goes out to heart. *SIGH* I still care for her and hate to see her hurting....again, I know there is nothing I can do. She has to figure this one out on her own. Still in need of insight/guidance in this new phase. After picking him up yesterday I never heard back from her.....till this morning. I was in bed and this text exchange happened:
W: How's my baby boy?
Me: We're all good over here! How are you?
W: Just get the wind knocked out of me with grief some days. Just grieving the life I had wanted for S and I.
Me: I understand. I do too at times. I know it must be hard for you - doing it on your own is tough. It breaks me down sometimes.
W: I don't think you've ever parented 5 or 6 days (no school) by yourself. It is single parenting for sure. I wish I could move home to at least have my parents. I am stuck here.
Me: We can do the best we can to help each other. That's why I left work yesterday and picked some dinner up for you. I know you were stressed and it was all I could do. Regardless, I am not minimizing your feelings. It hurts, it's sad and we both hate it.
Seems like she is still struggling. I just don't understand the notion of "grieving the loss of the life she wanted for herself and S". Maybe my ego can't accept that life with me is such a bad option that she would rather languish in the pain she is in right now. And when she says she is "stuck here" - that makes me sad and nervous. I fear that she will try to leave for IA with him and break us all apart. Legally that would be too expensive for her and damn near impossible - but still it causes worry.
LITB - does this sound like parts of your W and your sitch, too?? Kinda feels like it based on all your threads. How in the hell do I deal? How did you handle wanting to help your W out of love and concern versus keep a safe distance and moving on with your life? Any WAWs have an idea what she is going through? What IS this stage??? Hell - is it even a stage at all??
An hour or so later she texts me -
W: Helping with campaign this AM. Dream Act! (big deal here in AZ). Can you send me a pic of S?
Me: (I send picture) Being a total squirrel this morning!
W: You are? Is he teething?
Me: Har Har! He is cutting more teeth in the front for sure.
W: Maybe that's why he's whiny?
So it was like she completely got over what she was feeling earlier. Why is she telling me all of this when she knows that I don't want this divorce?
In search of insight......confused. Going out to GAL with S today.
Is he teething?