Stop focusing on her. Psychologically the phone is like a woman's bag. If she feels safe with a guy, she'll let him hold her bag or phone because she has nothing to hide. It's like a security blanket. Right now it's what she's leaning on because it's her tie to "unreality" and the other man.
Look for the free legal advice and see what your options are. You are the one who should be calling the shots because you bring home the bacon. She might be using the phone, but you control how it's being paid. If she's using it to contact the OM, then cut off the service. If your money is going towards your MIL, take it away and use it to get your own place away. Let your MIL deal with her D. There are things you need to do to get your control back.
You are so right, I'm working on delivering my own bomb here soon. I'm lining up things for a new life but don't want give her a heads up. A couple of things I need to figure out is how I can take care of S12 and S7(new job possibility has 10-20% travel), and I don't know how to interact with the MIL with me moving on after her involvment with our finances(spending alot of money getting us caught back up). I also need to ask W if she wants a seperation or just go ahead w/the big D.
M44 / W43 Married 24 / Together 24.5 S12 S7 ILYBNILWY/Bomb: 4-15-2012 Counseling started 5-1-2012 Counseling ended 6-7-2012
