Well, the follow-up to yesterday just got worse. W asked me if I wanted to have a beer....well, I already had a couple, trying to do my own thing tonight. She says she'll bring our oldest to take home the vehicle. We have a beer....decent discussion, but she brings up that I was an ass last night. I tell her that I don't think I was, that I was distant, but considering she did her own thing til 10pm, that was reasonable. It starts to get overheated and I tell her, not here, not now. We get in the car to go home and she let's me have it.....
She says she's filing Monday, that she's put up with enough, that she's been unhappy, etc etc. Frankly, at this point, I just say "fine" repeatedly. I certainly don't want what she is suggesting, but I'm tired of being walked on. I think maybe she needs some space to figure out her own stuff, so I'm fine to discuss different arrangements. She is not and speeds off to spend the night somewhere else.
This [censored]...plain and simple. But, I do think it's part of the process. I don't like it one bit, but I've kinda been thinking, we'd have to split before she'd see me in a positive light. We are arguing about crap that happened 15+ years ago. I can't do anything about it! I've said I'm sorry again and again. I'm not going to do it for my whole life.
I knew we were on the brink...I just hate that I couldn't DB better than I did. I was patient, and patient, and patient, and then got pissed. I think, hey, if you're not willing to accept any responsibility, then fine, be done...but on the other hand, I think of my kids, and the damage it will do to them, and it breaks my heart. I should have been stronger.
