Im here agreeing with 25 and GWN....Some marriages really have been pretty bad all along, and through the journey of trying to DB we figure that out.
I know this because this is what's happened to me. Your H sounds like my XH. He was/still is verbally and mentally abusive. Your description of him coming home from work and talking about a frutrating day, then him rejecting your affection the next morning is the exact same thing I went through many many times.
Rejection is horrible and the blow our self esteem's take when they leave is horrible.
But what Im finding out now, is as my self esteem gets stronger, the more Im able to see how awful my marriage was. Im also asking myself how I managed to live through it and why did I put up with it for so long? The answer to that for me is my self esteem literally went down the drain being in such a marriage.
He did not treat me well. Yes it could've been worse. Yes I made mistakes. But I didn't deserve this. No one deserves this.
Currently Im really working on finding my self esteem again. It's coming back.
I would suggest working on that self esteem.... and when it starts to come back many things become much clearer.
