I have no other option, 25 - seriously, that is all I can do at this point.
My heart broke for her a little bit today. I'll explain in a minute - but it is amazing to me that after all that has happened I still hurt when she hurts. There is nothing I can do to help, but it still pains me to see her in distress.
So now that she is off for the summer, the time that S is usually at daycare he is with her. I drop him off on Mondays and Tuesdays in the morning and she has him until I am done with work - well, on Tuesday night he stays with her. Wed, Thur and Fri she has him all day until I get leave the office. So this week she has technically had him Monday through the day, Tuesday all day, Wednesday all day, Thursday all day and Friday all day. I have him now and will have him all weekend. That said, here is the text exchange from today (keep in mind we are getting along just fine).
W: S is whiney . My nerves are shot! Hours now.
Me: Did he not sleep well or is he just being a crank?
W: If you get off early today let me know. Could use a break. Full time all week is hard with no breaks.
Me: OK
4.5 hours later.....
W: What's your ETA? Screaming and whining all day. Could use your support.
Me: Not sure. Will bail out as soon as I can. Boss threw two big things at me that I am trying to finish.
So at this point, I could tell that my w was probably pretty stressed out. S is 2 and can really be active. Not a lot of space in her condo and she doesn't have a TV. She streams kids show for him on Netflix on her MacBook and he has toys and things there. I think he gets bored being there at times and gets cranky.
So I wrap up work early and head out to give her a break and pick up S. As I am driving, I start thinking that I should have made her wait till after 5. Hell, this is HER decision - right? But then I though about the "not my job to teach her a lesson - life will do that". At is seems that life is doing just that.
Then I started thinking it's amazing she can say awfully mean things about/to me - but I am the first person she turns to and expects me to leave work early to help her out. I felt it was the right thing to do - but that thought grinds in the back of my head.
On the way to her place, I stopped and grabbed her a sandwich from a place she likes and a dessert. I was not trying to score points - I would do that for any good friend that was stressed out. I didn't figure she would have it in her to cook - just guessed she would be wiped out.
So when I get there, she opens the door and I could tell S was a ball of energy. I handed her the bag with her food in it and jokingly said "here, I brought you some support". She tried to give it back...saying I didn't have to do that....told me to give it to S for his dinner. Ultimately, she kept it - I said worst case just eat it tomorrow. She showed me a few receipts that I owe half on and I told her I would bring a check by.
Then it started. Her walls broke and I could hear the stress in her voice. I asked if she was OK. Choking back tears she said "it's just been a rough day". She opened up a little more as the tears started to come out and said while crying "I just get angry that this is my life now". I said "I understand". She quickly replied "No, I don't think you do". Not in a mean way...she just....said it. She pulled herself together enough to hug our S goodbye and asked me what I had planned for the weekend. I just said not sure....just need to keep S busy. Her mood was for sure down and I would imagine that when the door closed behind me more tears came.
Seems like today was rough for her. What is she "angry" about?? For once, it was not anger directed at me. Was she insulted that I bought her dinner?
So much of me wanted to say "it doesn't have to be this way" - but I have learned that is not the right thing to do. It's her journey. Alone. I wanted to comfort her - hang around until she felt better - but I left.
