Stand up. Poor and tired, but more than this.

[LIO]

HI All,
Yes Verab and Ro, you are right. He was tired/possibly hungry and I just launched into a tirade, making it a emotional reaction (maybe not crying/pleading but still an emotional reaction nonetheless).

I'm thinking the best response would be:
"Hi H just returning your call."
or if he says he was sleeping (no matter how early it is): "You do sound tired, I'll talk to you some other time." CLICK
end of conversation. K.I.S.S.

This really is like a science experiment. When I do x then y happens. If y is a bad reaction then don't do x! i.e. When I call and H is tired, he will bring up paperwork when I press conversation. So don't press conversation. Noted.

Regarding the paperwork RoRo: from what I can gather now looking at previous 'experiments' err experience, H will bring up paperwork when he is fearful or feeling backed into a corner.
So me having him sign the listing paperwork for the house (although necessary for me on a financial standpoint because it's eating up 50% of my income, and he even though he HATES the house and wanted to sell it before), I'm guessing here that by me putting house up for sale, it is a sign of me moving forward... with or without him. He can't just pop in whenever he wants in my next place as he can here. His reaction is fear-based. I also expected him to say something about the serving paperwork, so I didn't let his comment bother me.

And the convo last night, it was based on being backed into corner of having to be forced into a one-sided conversation when he was tired.

ScaredSilly: I agree - which is why I haven't 'helped' him with this. I have always done something when he wants it (see my slip with the carpet cleaning comment above). I have this bad habit of if someone tells me something, I assume they want me to take action, and I need to break myself of that. In the paperwork case, I'm not a genie and saying 'your wish is my command', because you are right, it is not need of mine.
As Verab wrote, 'I am just too busy' for it. It isn't a priority of mine, and I won't do it. If he wants it bad enough, he will do it himself.

See, thank you all for your help. It helps me so much to write this down, get another perspective on it because I wouldn't have realized the two ways the paperwork is brought up (fear and backed into corner). SO at least my next 'reaction' will be the same as the morning one "Oh I am not going to be getting into an argument with you today! (smiles)" or "I'm sorry I can't help you with that." and be quiet.