dscl, what has your W told you explicitly or implicitly about: 1) what you did wrong 2) what she is attracted to in OM (or what he does that you didn't)
1. She said that I did not show her love and was very distant and that I always made her think everything she did was wrong. 2. The complete opposite of number 1. He does he loves her, is there for her and the little things that I say bother me does not bother him.
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Judging from your thread on here, am I right that you tend a bit towards the fix-it/controlling spectrum (like many of us men), perhaps being impulsive, emotional or angry in doing so?
When we are not like that, we tend not to be there emotionally for our W's, because we are too wrapped up in our own concerns. We don't listen to them or, when we do, we don't just accept and validate what they are saying, but try to fix their feelings.
Maybe I am way off here and this doesn't ring true for you. What have you gathered so far about the big issues?
This is me to a T!! I see now as I reflect on the years we've been together and I now know that it's a major issue I need to work on.
Have to admit, kind of scare that what I did has now pushed her more into OM arms. I know this is not what I'm suppose to think, but it is in my mind, maybe it's there since it just happened and I'll feel stronger as the days go by.
I MUST accept that I can't control her feelings or issues and concern myself with what I can... mine.
M-41 W-41 D-7 M- 10yrs I still love you, but 4-25-12 Think she might have EA/PA 5-17-12 Confirmed PA 6-9-12
