Wife says it's to far gone

[Vorlon]

Shockedad,

You are experiancing a huge amount of pain. This is to be expected. Expressing it here rather than to your wife is good.

Now I am going to ask you to look at what you are saying. "This is just beating me down, I want it to work so much, but I hate being alone" You sound weak, needy, and a mess. That is so unattractive to any women. Its certainly not the man she married: He was strong, capabale, accomplished, funnny and so very attractive to her and probably that image of you was reinforced by her friends. Which version of you do you think she would want to be with????

Please get ahold of yourself. Yes patience is critical here. But strength is even more important. I am sure that even if you do not say these things to your wife she can sense them. She can smell the fear and desperation. Remember she knows you. She knows your body language, your little tells. She can see your weaknesses a mile away. This is why you can not convince her of anything. She must come to realizations by herself. The only thing you have control over is YOU. How you feel, think, and most importantly how you act.

You can do this. Make a plan based on strength. Then live your life 100% based who you want to be and who your are as a man. She either will be attracted by that or not. Again not in your control. But which do you think has a better shot at success. Either way you will survive and things will get better with or without your wife when you decide to lead your life.