Lost

[bustorama]

OK, great. Now keep holding that line -- not with meanness, vindictiveness. Your W may (mostly subconsciously) test you to see where your boundaries are (she basically already has done so with each of these drop by visits).

dscl, what has your W told you explicitly or implicitly about:
1) what you did wrong
2) what she is attracted to in OM (or what he does that you didn't)

That's part of where you need to focus some attention.

Judging from your thread on here, am I right that you tend a bit towards the fix-it/controlling spectrum (like many of us men), perhaps being impulsive, emotional or angry in doing so?

When we are not like that, we tend not to be there emotionally for our W's, because we are too wrapped up in our own concerns. We don't listen to them or, when we do, we don't just accept and validate what they are saying, but try to fix their feelings.

Maybe I am way off here and this doesn't ring true for you. What have you gathered so far about the big issues?